HMD

[gamemakers]

HOW'S MY DRIVING?

Anon is enabled, don't be an a jerk.

This is not a love meme, however, that also doesn't mean it is a hate meme. Someone's driving can be good, feel free to say as much! Just try to give them an idea on how.

Also please make sure if you are asking for crit you are also giving it. If everyone only posts for themselves, no one will get any feedback. You don't need to comment to everyone, but please be sure if you comment to reply to at least 3 other people. We'll be keeping an eye on this post to make sure everyone's commenting around.

There are some helpful crit questions posted here if you are feeling lost on how to word yourself.

Comments

MODS

[gamemakers]

Mods, and mod NPCs.

Re: MODS

[sugardoom]

WRONG ACCOUNT (this is Ink, doing... several weeks old backtags... in another game). But I just wanted to say how pleased I was by how you turned a drop into a really awesome plot that involved everyone and got the ball rolling on a lot of other important stuff IC. I thought it was a really classy way of doing it, instead of just trying to railroad it in some other way.

Also I'm loving the Arena(s) so far! I know the start was a little bumpy but you shouldn't be discouraged from doing cool twist arenas like this in future. I think the takeaway (and my crit, I guess) would be to inform us of things well in advance instead of being vague in order to be cool and mysterious. IC, things can be as confusing and unexplained as you want, but OOC you should give all the pertinent info well ahead of time, or at least by the time plotting has started. I was definitely content to wait until more info on what was up with group two came out, but I did feel uncertain and a little lost when the mods were telling group two to plot normally about an arena we knew absolutely nothing about. You can't plot when you have no information, and since we weren't even informed of the poison or how group two death would work, we couldn't even plot for the cornucopia. Many of those that did on your suggestion made plans that didn't work with how the plot was supposed to go, like dying by another tribute because it was unclear that that didn't 'count' and had to retcon.

Basically, this game is really great, and there's a lot of really cool plots I know you have saved up for us, and I hope they're as fiddly and complicated as this one. I just think it would be helpful for players to have all or at least the most important of the OOC rules and info on the plots a little earlier than you've been doing it, in cases where not having that information makes plotting pretty much impossible.

Effie | Lottie

[mannersmatter]

I only have these two right now.

Re: Effie | Lottie

[justoutrunyou]

Can I just say that the relationship between Sandy and Effie is everything I've wanted from this game?

In the books Katniss had a strong relationship with Haymitch and Cinna but I felt like Effie got shorted. But the interactions between Sandy and Effie have helped flesh her out as a character and I think you are doing a grand job at showing just who she is and how she became that way.

And as for Lottie? I still get a kick reading her threads even if I'm not in them.

Britt - Sherlock and Maximus

[gluteus]

hit me!

[victorofhope]

I really enjoy how Maximus is clearly out of his element when it comes to the Capitol. The Arena is what he knows, but how he seems out of place because of the shiny new future is something that I think really makes who he is. I mean, if he understood TV or guns then there would be a Problem, so the way you handle his FUTURE??? is really enjoyable to read 8'>

Barbara Gordon, Ruby Lucas, Primrose Everdeen

[andproper]

I've been absent lately - just got back from Israel - but back now. c:

Re: Barbara Gordon, Ruby Lucas, Primrose Everdeen

[from_a_distance]

I have really been enjoying the thread with Prim. You have her sweetness down but also her knowledge of what sort of a place Panem is and what it means to grow up there.

Venus, Howard, Eva, Penny, Punchy

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Hit me with your best shot. I'm still getting the hang of balancing this many characters so I already know that's an issue, but as for the rest just let me know. :)

Punchy!

[formersurgeon]

I'm totally canon-blind with him, but his personality comes out very clearly in your writing. It's really well done :)

Clint // Atticus // Eddie // Nikola // Hatter

[from_a_distance]

Okay, I've got:

Clint Barton from_a_distance

Atticus Bell kind_of_a_nerd

Eddie Blake no_spelled_y_e_s

Nikola Tesla ps_you_look_hot

Hatter friend_i_hope

[alldeduction]

Just wanted to mention that I really like your Hatter so far! Feels like you've got his voice nailed down perfectly. c:

Hats - Some and Darius

[gruesome]

Boom, baby.

Re: Hats - Some and Darius

[edsidlemirth]

Thank you for inviting me to this game and for your encouragement in getting started here. Of course, Some is always fun to write with.

Lina- Doc Holiday

[doc_holi]

I will tag out later tonight! And anon is cool with me. Bring everything on. :)

[lessthanelementary]

first off: I'm really enjoying Neffa and Holiday's CR! It could potentially go a lot of different directions, and I've enjoyed how natural their conversations feel so far. I especially like how down-to-earth she is.

My only crit: When you respond to conversational tags especially, it can sometimes be hard to pull something out to respond to in a way that moves the thread forward. That doesn't necessarily mean that every tag has to end with a question or anything like that - but maybe something like adding a little more description of body language, some nonverbal cues to pick up on as well as verbal ones, might help?

I look forward to seeing where their CR goes! They're going to have to meet up in an Arena at some point, man.

Eponine and Calico

[gardienne]

Slipped away for a month whilst I finished off my Uni essays, but back now whilst I polish off my dissertation.

Eponine - gardienne

Calico - riptheseams

[akingalways]

Well, here I go! *takes a deep breath* Going to address Calico, since my players haven't really conversed with Eponine.

While I do fairly enjoy the conversations that Calico has had with Jack, and we do get to see the contentious, complicated relationship they have, I am a little confused about some stuff regarding how you play her, as opposed to how you originally portrayed her. I hope you don't mind me saying, and given she's an OC, might seem strange, but I think it does need to be said: I don't think you're playing Calico ICly. At all.

Let me explain. According to what her application says (and before anyone outside of Lili asks why I even bothered to read Calico's app at all! It is because I used Cal's application as necessary reading for Jack and as a means to build his own history, as he is also a District 8 Mentor), she's generally level-headed, bubbly personality, and while she's a pistol, she knows better. She's savvy enough to know what she needs to do to keep under the radar for the most part, and able to conceal her true feelings about the Capitol relatively well, particularly after her first run in with the Peacekeepers. While she does have rebellious tendencies, she was supposed to have learned her lesson on why its a bad thing to refuse things like Sponsors.

But that's not how you've been playing her. You've been playing her almost the exact opposite, even before Eva's betrayal of Ariadne - she disparages Sponsors, tells people not to support certain Tributes in her own District, gets drunk and sloppy, and does crazy things for people she barely knew, even openly showing rebellious tendencies and breaking off long-standing relationships while letting her feelings get the better of her. Granted, I can understand Cal being angry at Eva and severing the relationship, but the way she went about it makes no sense in light of what you claim her personality to be. She may be blunt, yes, but she's also supposed to be savvy enough, even in the heat of the moment, to know that calling someone a traitor and insinuating that she told that character secrets that could get her in trouble? Is a bad thing to do.

It just feels like Calico is supposed to be one thing, but you play her the opposite a lot of the time, and I'm not sure why this is. If its for the sake of plot, that's fine, but for me, the plot that you've got Calico in right now, with her being in the custody of the Capitol, makes no sense in light of what you've said and what we're supposed to know about her, ICly and OoCly.

LENZ -- JAY // OC

[amourtician]

first off, i know i've been kind of flaky with tags. i'm working on it -- i'm very ill right now and i've had a string of bad day lately, in terms of pain and fatigue. that said, i'm actively pursuing treatment and my flakiness will improve in the coming months

if it doesn't, feel free to kick my arse

jay is an OC and i know it's hard to crit OCs, so here are specific questions:

1. what sort of person does he come off as? i need to know how he's reading so i can compare it to my intentions for him and know whether i'm on the right track
2. is he consistent? he's a bit of a mess, i know, but is he a mess that makes logical sense?
3. am i handling exposition and introspection well? i do worry about divulging information about jay's world and his background, since that might bog down tags and logs instead of being interesting and substantial

finally! i am ESL and i currently do not live in an anglophone country. how is my grammar? my vocabulary? do i make any consistently nonsensical word choices that cannot be explained as jay's style of speech being a tad off-kilter?

other commentary welcome. anon is fine, harsh is fine. i have a screened, anon-enabled, untracked HMD post, too, if you're not comfortable being public with crit.

[knifewithnoname]

I really like Jay, he is interesting and I always find myself reading all your tags to learn more about his world and life. From what I've read and played against he seems consistent as well!

I'm not one to really be judging grammar and words but from what I can see it all looks good to me and nothing doesn't make sense!

bucky barnes / marvel 616

[deadthenred]

I am Alex and I just have the one account!

Re: bucky barnes / marvel 616

[shinyisfalse]

Hey there! I know we've only done one thread and it's slowly going, but I love Bucky, and it's great to see someone playing him, and just. The confusion he has about this place! It's so perfect and fun to see.

Kevin Prentiss, Eliot Spencer

[fire_punk]

Re: Kevin Prentiss, Eliot Spencer

[shinyisfalse]

I. Love. Eliot. What is his canon, because I always forget, but he's just. So much fun and so amazing, and every thread I've done with him so far (granted, not many) has just been fun, and really easy to continue. He's a great character, and I really like your writing style.

Karis Needleteeth

[teethofneedles]

Let me know if anything needs work.

neophyte redglare

[hangingaround]

I am well aware my tagging speed leaves much to be desired and I have a whole bunch of backtags to get to sob

[(Anonymous)]

Many others believed the final results are only equipped to generally be achieved when you try to eat genitalia of specific creatures. For instance, bull's testicles, which still can be obtained around the menus of some dining establishments in Latin America. Sometimes absolutely absurd concepts about libido enhancers were being preferred, this sort of because the powder in the rhinocerose's horn. Horns usually had been utilised for this perform, not only individuals of rhinoceroses but additionally deer's bull's, and so on.

Joan Watson

[formersurgeon]

Hi, I'm Kit and I'm new! I know there's not much to go on yet, but I welcome any suggestions :)

Re: Joan Watson

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

We haven't threaded together much, but I've been reading some of your threads with other players and I think you're doing an excellent job at playing Joan. I like that you don't downplay the respect Joan has for herself. I look forward to playing with you more in the future and you seem really easy-going OOCly.

Nepeta Leijon

[whoseesbynight]

hit me /o/

Re: Nepeta Leijon

[tis_allgood]

Nepeta is the cutest, and completely IC from everything I've seen. She's so much fun to have CR with.

Katy - Pruna, Shion, Ian Gallagher

[knifewithnoname]

All these kids. Apologies for my sudden disappearance for a week and also apologies for any tags that you may have got in that week with awful spelling as my phone doesn't have spell checker.

But yes please crit me

Re: Katy - Pruna, Shion, Ian Gallagher

[andproper]

Pruna. Y U SO HORRIBLE????????????

See also: I love the CR we've got going, and really hope to see more of it. Pruna is such a suspicious little monster...

Ni. on mobile hence the anon XD

[(Anonymous)]

Donatello/polyturtle
Jack/akingalways

Re: Ni. on mobile hence the anon XD

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Ni, you asked for crit, so here we go. I enjoy playing with you a lot, so here's a small thing I've noticed you do on occasion.

I feel like on occasion, you use what's said OOCly, that Don wouldn't know ICly, and work it into Don's thought processes. To dig up an old example, off the top of my head, you once had Don think "for someone who's amoral, Howard's pretty naive", when Howard and Don had just met and there was no way Don would have known that about Howard - it felt like you were pulling in an OOC comment I made, which made me think you were critting my writing in a tag. Does that make sense? It's not really infomodding because it doesn't force my character into anything, but it does tend to throw me off. I've seen it crop up a few times and I really think the only fix is to just be aware of it.

Peeta Mellark | Cinderella

[shinyisfalse]

Just these two right now.

Re: Peeta Mellark | Cinderella

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

I just wanted to say that I really love Cindy (and Peeta!) and that I'm surprised by how interesting our thread was. We had nearly shankings, philosophical conversations about robots and a fairy-tale, and it all emerged organically - I feel like that's the sign of a really good player, who can tend to a thread and let it blossom in interesting ways, and it makes every tag I get from you exciting. :)

Cuthbert Allgood

[tis_allgood]

I'm fine with all sorts of everything, anon or otherwise.

Re: Cuthbert Allgood

[andproper]

It's been a while since we tagged, but I just want to say I enjoyed Ruby and Cuthbert. I mean, she had no idea what the hell to do with him, but it was an interesting watching them size each other up.

Hyperion Crius

[cutshort]

ive been absent due to volunteer work and a broken laptop! hoping to get back into the swing of things soon enough 8V

[(Anonymous)]

I really enjoy Hyperion and I like stalking him. But, I've noticed that in network threads, definitely the one we had, you start giving one line responses fairly quickly and they're usually stuff I can't reply to easily, that don't advance the thread or give my character anything to say. I don't know if this is just because that's how he'd act over the network but it's really discouraging trying to carry a thread and introduce new topics and not have it responded to at all. Your prose in in person logs is always great and fleshed out so I'm not sure where the disconnect is.

betsy | thane krios

[battlesleep]

struggling somewhat with speed tagging wise since the game's sped up since i joined. let me know if that's caused you problems or anything else about my activity / characterization / tagging / etc. thane's still a fairly new character for me and i welcome feedback of all kinds c:

anon is fine, i also have an hmd up here where screening can be requested, i think that is all.

Re: betsy | thane krios

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

I really love your dialogue. It's easy to respond to and threading comes naturally, and you seem to always know the right thing to say to keep things moving fluidly. That said, I would love to see a little more body language from Thane, especially with regards to how that may or may not differ from human body language. I have a bit of a hard time picturing how he moves now.

Mona, Bruce B, Asha

[doesnotsew]

I have been pretty MIA recently and that is my bad! I'm adjusting to a new job and it's leaving me trying to figure out my time; I might have to drop someone temporarily, depending on how things go. That being said, hit me!

My people are skinlotion, doesnotsew, and hasacondition.

Re: Mona, Bruce B, Asha

[andproper]

Asha is epic, and I've had fun playing with her. <3 I'm not very good at giving crit, so I'm just going to say that It's been fun watching Prim trying to deal with the woman's unique take on the world.

Wyatt and Wesker

[the_marshal]

Anything at all, just let me know. :)

Wyatt!

[formersurgeon]

I love how clearly I can hear Wyatt's voice in your dialogue :)

Amry - Neffa a Reyeth

[lessthanelementary]

CRIT ME HARD, BROS. :D Some points I'd personally like feedback on are below, but anything goes! There is also a screened, anon-abled HMD in his journal, if that's more comfortable for you.

-is Neffa's voice consistent? He actively tries to be many things to many people - but I want him to be one person with many faces, rather than coming off like different people.
-too much extraneous tl;dr worldbuilding per tag? too little??
-have I been flaking/dropping threads on you? Failing to see through things we planned? Giving you hard-to-work-with tags??

thanks!!

Re: Amry - Neffa a Reyeth

[amourtician]

neffa is pretty consistent! i definitely get the sense he's one entity trying on different masks and not a case of hollywood multiple personality disorder

i love your extraneous worldbuilding and i want more bc his world is fascinating and i just love that sort of thing in RP okay

you have been slow, but you've also been busy a lot, so that's okay! i'd like to wrap up the jay and neffa threads we have going, though. plus, you tend to give lengthy tags, which are worth waiting for.