HMD

[gamemakers]

HOW'S MY DRIVING?

Anon is enabled, don't be an a jerk.

This is not a love meme, however, that also doesn't mean it is a hate meme. Someone's driving can be good, feel free to say as much! Just try to give them an idea on how.

Also please make sure if you are asking for crit you are also giving it. If everyone only posts for themselves, no one will get any feedback. You don't need to comment to everyone, but please be sure if you comment to reply to at least 3 other people. We'll be keeping an eye on this post to make sure everyone's commenting around.

There are some helpful crit questions posted here if you are feeling lost on how to word yourself.

Comments

nai | katurian katurian (au)

[pillowmania]

I was having difficulties keeping up with the arenas, so I'm sticking with this guy for the foreseeable future. He's very new, so if you notice anything off about his current voice or narrative, I'd love to hear it. c: Thanks guys.

Re: nai | katurian katurian (au)

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Nai, you already know I love your writing. I have no crit to give. Your prose is excellent and your characters are well-rounded and you push me to be a better writer to try and keep up. Keep up the good work.

Nicky

[wantsajetpack]

I just have derp = big_badass_hero
and Pep wantsajetpack

Re: Nicky

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Hey Nicky, you're a fun player, but it'd probably help if you did two things: worked on the grammatical errors, and fleshed out the tags with a bit more interacting with the scenery and body language. You've got a lot of enthusiasm and you know your characters well, but the above two problems sometimes make it difficult to respond to you. I hope this doesn't discourage you because I still quite enjoy you, and it's clear others do too.

Manda

[victorofhope]

I have:

Sybille Matteris (OC) | arachnoble
The Psiioniic/Helmsman (Homestuck) | xanthous
Eridan Ampora (Homestuck AU) | victorofhope

Edited because not having a subject was bugging me, sob.

[69problems]

HEY FRIEND HEY

So. You know my feelings on your Psiioniic already, I won't rehash them.

I'm gonna talk at you about Eridan. I think you've done a really good job turning him into a Panem AU without changing him too much from canon for him to be recognizable. He's still snooty with a bad case of hero worship (I especially adore how he treats the older victors, which is a great mirror of how he idolizes the ancestors and his own especially). I hope I get a chance to play Klaus off him soon!

And speaking of playing Klaus off people, I'm really enjoying all the stuff you're doing with Sybille, and I like the relationship that's growing between her and Panem!Holmes. I like how she's basically becoming the entirety of District 3's put-upon nanny.

SO YES KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING I ENJOY IT

Orphaner Dualscar - Homestuck

[shellfishlovver]

NEW but interested in hearing anything people have to say.

Commander Shepard | Mass Effect

[earthborn]

[alldeduction]

Really loving your Shepard voice, just so you know! I usually play paragon shep so i was like i have noooo idea if i will recognize renegade at all but

i still feel like the core shepard is still there! if a bit more on the wild side c:

thank you so much for bringing her, i promise i will get better on the tagging end and we will get up to shenanigans again soon!

Inkwell

[69problems]

The Signless | Homestuck | 69problems
Klaus Wulfenbach (Mentor AU) | Girl Genius | myblimpisbigger

Heeey everyone. I know I've basically been on an unannounced hiatus for a while now, so there's no need to comment on that. I basically lost my confidence preeeetty hard and am still scrambling to regain it.

That said! If you have other problems you'd like to address, I'm all ears. I can't learn if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong. Anon is also fine.

Some questions I have in particular:
*Am I dumping too much of Signless's backstory and world info where it's not appropriate? I try to keep it contained and I try to not have him make every conversation about ~lol trolls~ or ~lol i'm troll jesus~, but what may seem like not a lot to me may seem like too much to others.
*I know my tagging speed leaves something to be desired -- even at the best of times, I'm a slow tagger. But do my tags at least give you something to work with? I try to leave hooks in what I write as well as I can.
*For those of you that know Homestuck, am I seeming IC? I know it's hard to crit ancestors since they're comprised of a lot of headcanon, but it's still usually easy to spot someone doing it wrong.

And for Klaus, I haven't intro'd him yet, so I don't know what you might have to say about him, but I'm all ears if there's something about his backstory in Panem or his characterization in his app that you're uncertain of!

Re: Inkwell

[amourtician]

i think you're doing well re: information on alternia and signless's backstory? as in, you're providing enough context for him without making it a huge thing that distracts from actual content.

i'm really fond of your signless, as i've already said. he's still very much, you know, what you'd expect ~the signless~ to be, but he can also be childish and self-righteous like kankri was and it's nice. it makes him relatable and more, idk, accessible? like if you were playing him as just Troll Jesus, it would be difficult to interact with him on a significant personal level and you're not doing that, so!

you seem fairly IC and the interpretation is a solid one, at least in my view.

your tags are always substantial, so don't worry about that! i've never had trouble replying to you.

haha, sorry, i don't have any actual crit to give and also this is a bit rambling and weird because i'm tired.

R || Warm Bodies

[shambler]

Note: I'm wondering if I'm being too gory or not gory enough with R's posts, or if he's too woobie (more than what he was in the canon). I'm wanting to work on cutting down how much dialogue he has since canonly he was supposed to find it difficult to get more than a sentence out at a time.

Re: R || Warm Bodies

[formersurgeon]

I really like the way you write what's going on inside R's head. It's so important for a non-verbal (or semi-verbal) character in general, and of course it's very canon to have his internal world very prominent, and I think you do it well :)

Dirk Strider | Homestuck

[brohoof]

If you have anything at all, please feel free to let me know. I'm still fairly new here and getting my bearings, but anything would be good.

Speed is an issue that I'm aware of and trying to fix, as I've just let go of a character in a couple places to try and lighten my load. But other than that, please hit me. I've also got a private HMD if you prefer more privacy.

Marie || Tim Drake-Wayne

[the_hit_list]

I will never be the world's fastest tagger.

Re: Marie || Tim Drake-Wayne

[justoutrunyou]

Join me in the turtle tagging club. We are slow, but we make up for it in quality!

...well you do anyway. I think you write Tim better then some of the professionals at DC.

Lady Oscar | Rose of Versailles

[thefemaleson]

I know I've been painfully slow and need to get her more involved ;; I wish I had good excuses, but I don't. Trying to get better though!

Feel free to drop any notes here though!

Re: Lady Oscar | Rose of Versailles

[sleeplessinalternia]

I'm still hella thrilled we've got Oscar in this game. Yeah, you have been slow, but so have a lot of us, so I figure that's okay. I haven't finished Berubara, but I think you do an excellent Oscar from what I have read :3

Terezi Pyrope

[pythianjudgment]

Somewhat new, wondering how I'm doing! Anon is fine, hit me. :)

Re: Terezi Pyrope

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, I hope this doesn't come across as rude because I know you've had internet problems, but I found this open post of yours really discouraging. http:// thecapitol.dreamwidth. org/63983.html#comments It really felt like if you weren't a JJ player or a Homestuck player, you couldn't expect anything back. Looking at the length of time it takes for you to get back to a non-Homestuck versus your pre-existing friends is really disheartening. I don't know how people are supposed to build CR with you when it takes 10+ days to get a response back while you're tagging Karkat & co. reliably.

It's a shame because you're a really good writer and I like Terezi, but seeing your threading habits in that open post put me off tagging you because I don't want to get threaddropped or wait forever for a response.

Vero

[brentwood]

Tim Drake AKA Tiny Tim! | DC Comics | brentwood

I'm worried about voice, characterization, honestly! Also really trying to make him different enough from Marie's Tim, while still making it clear that the two are actually very much the same guy-- does that make sense? Sometimes I can't explain myself well. I've been on the really slow end of things, sorry, but I promise I will pick up my speed soon! Any crit you can dish out would be great to hear!

[mannersmatter]

I don't think the two sounds any more alike than is entirely reasonable.

Marius Pontmercy

[saisamour]

Just a couple of concerns I've been having is whether I'm getting the balance of FUQ DA POLIS REVOLUTION ETC and his obligatory uncertainty right. Also if I'm leaving enough to react to with tags? Marius is usually timid and quiet when he's not arguing about bonaparte so sometimes I find it difficult to think up a tag (or a post!) that's both engaging and somewhat IC.

[orestes]

I think falling into too much introspection can almost be considered a canon-derived concern, fff. And actually, perhaps as someone who knows the character well, I'm not the best person to offer a perspective on this. That being said, I've had a great time tagging your Marius. He has an obliviousness and naivety that definitely rings true for me on the character, but I haven't had a problem find things to react to and play off of. I've also greatly admired your efforts to branch him out. I feel like he's the type of guy who could very easily stick his head in the proverbial sand and not develop a lot of cross-canon CR or ties elsewhere in the game, and you've been great at avoiding that.

So uhh, this is kind of failing by way of crit, but I wanted to let you know that I think you're doing a fantastic job. Keep up the great work. c:

World, Lin and Sigma

[futilecycle]

Sigma Klim (as Zero Sr.) | Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward | futilecycle

Lin Mayuzumi | Remember11: The Age of Infinity | and_my_pickaxe

Any suggestions you could give me would be swell :)

Erica | Alex Rider

[luckofthedevil]

Just have Alex here!

Stephanie

[amoral_savior]

Stephanie, Topher, and Liviana

I am HORRIBLY behind here but I do plan on catching up tomorrow. Please, if you're ever fed up with waiting ping me on an account or on plurk at lionphox and I will get to you right away. Also, all my characters have a HMD anon enabled

Re: Stephanie

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Um. I totally adore playing with you. Your Topher has his Whedonisms down and I love our CR (and that death scene!) and Stephanie has grown on me like mold. :P I need to get around to playing with Liviana.

I guess my only crit is that sometimes you're missing commas where there should be commas. That's really it. Keep up the good work.

Bii

[sleeplessinalternia]

Karkat Vantas (sleeplessinalternia)
Othar Trygvassen, Gentleman Victor (gentlemanvictor)

I'm trying to make sure I tag out, but I know I dropped some threads from earlier. And I'm still trying to get my sea legs with Othar.

Re: Bii

[tis_allgood]

I'm looking forward to Othar, since I don't know the canon and I know you're a wonderful writer. You were the main reason I started reading Homestuck, which like 20 other people I've played with couldn't do if that says anything to you. You're some of my favorite CR, and I'm so excited about our current plot stuff, they're so great together. And the way you portray Karkat is great, I'm glad you haven't reduced him to any of the easy stereotypes he can turn into.

Phaerie - Ian Chesterton

[splendid_roman]

I know I haven't been round much for the past month - work got really busy in June and then there was Wimbledon. Although work's calmed down and Wimbledon finishes today, we're having a heat wave, which makes it hard to think and I can't have the computer turned on for long. So I will still be not around much for another week or two until whenever it cools down.

Other than that I worry a bit that Ian sounds too generic, if that makes sense.

Re: Phaerie - Ian Chesterton

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

We've played together long enough by now that you should know that I really enjoy your playing and how proactive you are with Ian. You have his voice down pat and I feel like through your playing I really know who he is and what he stands for. I don't think his dialogue sounds generic at all, but if I could offer a bit of criticism, it's that I wish you'd have a bit more body language in your posts. Many of your best threads - like the death thread with Tim Drake, which I found quite enjoyable - are threads that have a bit more meat on them, that lets your audience really visualize Ian and might assuage your worries about him coming across as generic.

Yami --> Enjolras

[orestes]

A few things!

On the last HMD I received some feedback suggesting that I give more indication of things like facial expressions and body language. I know my tendency is to tl;dr and lay on the introspection pretty thick, but I've been making efforts, so I wanted to make sure they've been coming through. If it's not, please let me know and I'll step it up even more. c:

Secondly, I'm starting to let the Enjolras' experiences within the Arenas and the Capitol influence his basic philosophies a little bit more. He's a very idealistic character, but he's also based on two historical figures, both of whom were idealists with notably cruel, petty, and paranoid streaks. I'm not sure how far down the "jaded" road I really want to go just yet, but if I've been successful in conveying this shift in his thinking and you've begun to notice it in some of his tags, it's entirely intentional. Hopefully it rings true for the character and if it doesn't, again, let me know. I'd very much like to have the environment effect him, I just want to make sure that the progression seems organic and logical.

And lastly, I've been slow on tags the passed two weeks and I'm sorry. My work schedule suddenly became a problem, but it should level out again in another week and I've been trying to catch up as much as possible on the weekends. If you have anything you want to prioritize, I'm totally willing to do that. In the interest of keeping his narrative current, I've also dropped a few older threads which I felt had come to a reasonable conclusion. If I've dropped something you want to continue, please let me know and I'll get back on it asap. It's just that my inbox was starting to pretty intimidating to me so I went for things that seemed more or less "done".

Thanks! And jeez, that got long.

Re: Yami --> Enjolras

[edsidlemirth]

I am really enjoying reading this character so far!

Claire - Glinda and Gaila

[itwasrhetorical]

Glinda and Gaila

I've been on a two week vacation in June and have struggled to catch up recently. I'm aware I've been lacking in the Glinda department as of late, but I'm trying to get my butt back into gear with her.

crit for Glinda!

[lessthanelementary]

first off, I really enjoyed the thread Neffa and Glinda had way back at Timaeus's party - my hiatus broke it off, but it definitely wasn't out of lack of interest in Glinda! She's quirky and fun, and I'd love to get to expand her and Neffa's CR.

My point of crit: Her speech quirk of mixing up words can be really funny, but sometimes it feels like you overdo it a little. Too much, and she can come off as downright clueless - keeping it a little more sparing keeps it just a personal quirk instead of reflecting badly on her. (I confess to being more or less canonblind, though, so if I'm totally off-base here, let me know! But just as someone interacting with her, this occurred to me.)

She's still super enjoyable, though! Looking forward to getting to thread again. :D

Sandy, Harley and Orc

[justoutrunyou]

Go ahead, be brutal.

Harley Quinn revvinguptheharley: I feel like Harley's voice comes loud and clear, but she's so popular I'm aware that at times I might be phoning it in just to burn through my tags. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to the rest of you so I'll have to try harder on that.

Cassandra "Sandy" Marko justoutrunyou: Sandy is a more difficult voice for me to pin down since she bounces so erratically from cynical self righteous brat, to depressed, overwhelmed with fear child who doesn't know what to do. It's all me trying to pin down who this developing girl is as the games changes her from who she was when I scooped her out of her own miserable canon world. And every person I tag with has helped me form her a little more so thank you for your patience.


Charles "Orc" Merriman paidinbeer: My newest muse, I won't expect much CR on him yet because he's only tagged around a little. But he's a hard muse for me too because he speaks so little. I'm used to big explosive personalities and he's very subdued until he gets angry. So long as I give him a fair chance and don't slack off on him in favor of my girls I think he has the chance for some real solid development of his own.

I look forward to your thoughts on my playing and I want to thank you all for your time. I know I'm not the fastest tagger, and sometimes our threads can drag out forever because of it. But I like to think that this game challenges me to be a better writer. Because most of you are already pretty great.

Re: Sandy, Harley and Orc

[shambler]

I think your strongest point is writing really good dialogue, especially for Harley - the dialogue has a lot of character to it and gets the character across. To further add more color to your tags, I think personally I'd like to see more introspection - it'll help ease the other player into your canon since they'll most likely to be canon blind and give them more of an idea of what's going on in their head aside from the dialogue only.

More interaction with the environment as well would help add something a bit more to the posts. By describing the environment and physical stuff a bit more, I think you'd be able to drive home some of the hardships they'd be going through in the Arenas.

Diana Ladris

[keep_surviving]

I've not really been here long enough to give comment on anyone else I think but feel free to point out things I'm doing horribly wrong with Diana.

Re: Diana Ladris

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

You know how I feel about your Diana. You capture her wit and tragedy so wonderfully, with many layers to her self-serving bad girlness, which always surprises me coming from such a sweet person as yourself. I love that you always give me a lot to work with and that you never forget that there's a lot going on in Diana's head.

Beck!

[amplifying]

i feel like i've been struggling with trying to keep him in the TRON universe. people say that when it comes to uprising, it's...kind of detached from how things usually are run. but i still try to keep him all the same!

i also don't think he's being rebellious enough. in uprising, beck's the lead face of a revolution in the grid, but here he's just kind of laid back. i would really like to start a player plot of some kind after this arena, but we'll see!

also i'm very sorry i've missed out on some of the tagging! i was in the hospital for about a week due to health problems, and i've been working hard to keep up-to-date and posting in new places.

CRIT ME. CRIT MEEEE

Re: Beck!

[mannersmatter]

I'm just glad you're back with us!

[bratwonder]

Damian Wayne (bratwonder) | DC Comics

shh I'm not late or anything

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

So we've only threaded a little bit, but I love your Damian. He's a smug little brat without being insufferable to read (my characters don't like him ICly, but I cackle with glee). He's a very interesting character that I think could fall into character very easily, but you keep him multidimensional. Keep up the good work.

Danny Williams and Phil Coulson.

[taseyousupernanny]

Hit me?

I've been trying to get better about my response times on tags. Still dealing with some personal motivational issues. But I think we have the meds and such figured out on that front. Finally.

Re: Danny Williams and Phil Coulson.

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

Heya Paula. Been a bit since we threaded. I really have enjoyed how proactive you've been with the chat, and I love Danny and want more CR with him (we never did follow up on the racial profiling thing). That said, it's not response time that worries me about your tags so much as the amount of threads you drop. I feel like most of my threads with you haven't gotten much further than three or four comments, if that, and that makes me hesitant to plot anything major with you.

My suggestions would either be to backtag more (most people in this game will backtag a lot, so don't worry about being 'too late'), or if it's you losing interest in older threads, maybe setting aside times to contact another player and boomerang with them. I'm usually game for a round of boomerang tag if we have a direction we want the thread to go, and a few other players are as well. That way more gets accomplished per thread.

Good luck on the meds - having just been there, I can say that having the right cocktail completely made things better. <3