HMD

[gamemakers]

HOW'S MY DRIVING?

Anon is enabled, don't be an a jerk.

This is not a love meme, however, that also doesn't mean it is a hate meme. Someone's driving can be good, feel free to say as much! Just try to give them an idea on how.

Also please make sure if you are asking for crit you are also giving it. If everyone only posts for themselves, no one will get any feedback. You don't need to comment to everyone, but please be sure if you comment to reply to at least 3 other people. We'll be keeping an eye on this post to make sure everyone's commenting around.

There are some helpful crit questions posted here if you are feeling lost on how to word yourself.

Comments

Re: LENZ -- JAY // OC

[iselldrugstothecommunity]

I feel like in a lot of my threads with Jay, and the network posts especially, I'm getting the lewdness and overt sexuality at the expense of other characterization. I personally would love to see you divulge more information about Jay and his homeworld, because at the moment I feel like if you asked me to name traits about Jay, I wouldn't be able to come up with much more than 'crassly sexual', 'flamboyant' and 'obnoxious' (ICly for the latter). I can tell he's really rounded out in your head because of the way you talk about him, and I would really love to see that come out in your prose. He's a fascinating character and I feel like I'm only getting tidbits when I want a full meal. Does that make sense?

Your grammar and vocabulary are great; I would have no idea you're ESL if not for you telling us. :)

Re: LENZ -- JAY // OC

[amourtician]

right, i see your point -- for what it's worth, it's due to jay choosing to play a certain role for the capitol, which means he's going out of his way to be an obnoxious diva and not much else. experiencing an actual arena is going to knock that out of him, as he realises playing a provocative airhead isn't actually gaining him any support, like he hoped it would. so he's going to get a fair bit more rounded very soon!

that and i need to get more confident about showing more depth to him, i guess? his backstory could be obnoxiously manpain if i played it wrong and i get tentative sometimes.

Re: LENZ -- JAY // OC

[akingalways]

I do have to concur with Lisa on this. My own characters have barely interacted with his, but from just looking, I also feel that at the moment, Jay is "that one obviously bisexual at the least guy who calls everyone sugar and honey". It seems stereotypical and one-note to me.

TD;LR: seeing more layers of the cake would be more delicious than getting sick on just the icing. And now you all want cake. My work is done.