I feel like in a lot of my threads with Jay, and the network posts especially, I'm getting the lewdness and overt sexuality at the expense of other characterization. I personally would love to see you divulge more information about Jay and his homeworld, because at the moment I feel like if you asked me to name traits about Jay, I wouldn't be able to come up with much more than 'crassly sexual', 'flamboyant' and 'obnoxious' (ICly for the latter). I can tell he's really rounded out in your head because of the way you talk about him, and I would really love to see that come out in your prose. He's a fascinating character and I feel like I'm only getting tidbits when I want a full meal. Does that make sense?

Your grammar and vocabulary are great; I would have no idea you're ESL if not for you telling us. :)